A Rather Silly Thought

Reality aside
Its hard to conceive rather Im playing myself for a fool
Or if I am right on all accounts

Because Iet my mind loose during the night
And it scouts the same area
The same lingering thought
That one that deprives me of my sleep
And makes my breaths longer

Am I doing the right thing?
Are the sacrifices worth their punishment?
Or am I chasing shadows
Riddled by the false illusion of choice
That someday
Somehow
If she's gone mad enough
She'll spot within me the joy she searches for

But by then
Theres nothing left to do
But to worry...